I Wouldn't Change a Thing

Like fire and rain. You can drive me insane. But I can't stay mad at you for anything. We're Venus and Mars. We're like different stars. But you're the harmony to every song I sing, and I wouldn't change a thing. Just some lines by Lovato that stuck in my head. Sometimes I feel empty, sometimes I feel useless but even that so, I never feel alone. But still, twitter is the only site I can strip down every line that went through. When it comes to blog, all gone. Damnnnn, son. I feel like stripping down everything but I do realize this blog is public, and what I wanna say is kind of private. Hehe some sort of feeling feeling touchy ni but yeah, its just something that I don't want the world knows but I just want to let it all out, ya dig? Gaaaaaaaaahh. God, please help.

Anyway, yeaaah result will be out on Wed. Going back on Friday. Hoping everything will turn out good, even though I don't feel so good about Part 5. Ya Allah, please please pleaseeeee, make it smooth. I was once screwed back then in Sem 3, please don't repeat the same thing again. I'm begging you, please don't. Please please please make it smooth for all of us. I just can't bear with anything like Part 3 anymore. "Well it's a big big city and the lights are all out, but it's much as I can do you know to figure you out and I must confess, my hearts in broken pieces and my heads a mess and it's 4 in the morning, and I'm walking along. Beside the ghost of every drinker here who has ever done wrong,".

I know what I want, but I'm not sure if its what I need. If that is my destiny, then show it and I'll go for it. I won't start if the view is still blur. I can't decide, I can't do anything. I'm stuck. I tried to forget, and let myself busy but no matter how hard I try to pretend like nothing happened, I know, I know it's there. I can lie to the whole world but myself. Big deal. But still, I'll try. No matter how hard it is, I will. I will make it clear to self and get over it, for good. Move on to the next point. I'm thinking of doing degree in private. Still in progress of surveying. I feel a bit guilty of doing this, cuz you know, in private, it's fucking expensive. Yuran, house rent, allowances, and such. I feel bad. Seriously. But I don't want to go any further in UiTM. I'm sorry. Even though Abah agreed to send me to private, he even offered me a chance to continue abroad but I refused to take it. I know it will costs him alot and, I feel bad okay. I know what I have given you, and what you have given me. You spent alot on us, but I never give you anything even a single DL. We have different taste. You see, you never support me on what I like. You always do the whatever decisions for me and you never let me decide. I let go of my dreams, I let go of my hobbies and tried my best to blend in with anything that you want me to be and you know what, it's not me. The real me, is a bowler. Not a golfer. The real me, is a Photo or Graphic student perhaps, not a Masscommer. The real me is what you can see on my photographs. Not the one that standing in front of you. One day, I hope you'll understand. But still, because of you, I am who I am today. Thank you. I'm a better person than who I was yesterday. Whatever you say, no matter how suck you nag, you're still the greatest Abah I have in this world. Thank you.

The only thing that made me smile today. Thanks babies :')