December 4

No matter how much I'd try to forget that it happened, it will not happen. Sometimes, it's not the same thing that bugging us that keeps ourselves from striving ahead. Usually it's because it's too dificult, or too expensive, or too scary. Or sometimes, when you stop wishing, then you realize how hard it is to start again. Then you force yourself not to want it. But you know, the options are always there. Until you finish it, it will always be, unfinished. Life is too short, afterlife is waiting. Correcting myself, is it what I want or what I need? 

And yeah, Belgium is waiting. But it seems kinda blur to me. So many things I have in mind. I thank God for everything I have achieved today, and blessed with. Alhamdulillah. But the future scares the hell out of me. But I can't just hold back because it's familiar. I know it's wrong. Easy to say thou, but hard to get my ass off. I almost forgot about that Belgium stuff but since Abah talked about that yesterday, or this morning, or 2 days ago, oh sh*t, my memory is getting worst -.-" but whenever that it was, it got me thinking. I mean, brought the whole thing back. That one thing that got me, to where I am. Having this big fat e-g-o, and rebel a bit here and there for some exciting chapters, with the presence of the world's best people around, I think I did a pretty good job myself. I am blessed. Syukur alhamdulillah. Hopefully, I'll do my Umrah somewhere in next year InsyaAllah, as my visa just got rejected. (I know it might sounds bad, but I was quite relief-- I'm not ready yet!!) Before all the good things come to its end, I'm gonna smile while I can. Hopefully it will lasts, until my very last breath. 

Amin. 

P/S : I had fun at Abg Syah's wedding today. Happy florist, I am! :D